Living and Loving 6: Filipinas and What They Are Looking For (3 of 3)

If you are landing on this page and have no idea where this three part series begins, simply click HERE to go back to the first page.

And so we continue on, checking out the three final Filipina archetypes one might encounter, the Older Widowed Woman (OWW), the Older Separated Woman (OSW) and Very Conservative Older Virgin (VCOV).

Man, that’s a lot of acronyms….   

 

Older Widowed Woman (OWW)
This woman is generally  in her late 30s, 40s or early 50s. Her husband passed away a few years ago and she is now ready to move on. Well the problem is, will you be disappointed in yourself when you see all the other foreigners with pretty girls in their teens and 20s. In the Philippines it’s not easy for an older woman to date and find love again.  The main reason for this is that the available foreigner men usually like the younger woman.  This is true even though older woman are more mature, are more skilled and generally don’t carry the take-care-of-family burden that younger Filipinas in their 20’s have.  So, if you don’t mind the woman’s age and are looking for a more mature and developed attitude, dating an older widowed Filipina is a perfectly good way to go!  Just be sure of this before you make any commitment, though.  The Philippines is full of young temptation and locking in with an older gal might not be for everyone!

 

Older Separated Woman (OSW)
Since divorces are not granted in the Philippines this means there are MANY unhappy couples in the Philippines.  In most cases, the husband and wife have split for whatever reason (infidelity is pretty common) and they are collectively living their separate lives. They are separated from their husbands but still legally married.

This category is similar to OWW, described above, with the same general positives and negatives.  But there is one big difference:  The woman is still legally married to her husband. Now, this can be good or bad, depending on your point of view and philosophy. Since she herself is married, she can’t pressure YOU to get married. And since she is already married, it might be easier for some folks to psychologically break things off at whatever time and for whatever reason.  With a married woman, some people simply won’t feel that same sense of obligation. Now, the problem is that if you meet a married woman and things get very serious, you are going to have one hell of a time dealing with both the ex-husband and trying to get an annulment.   You won’t be able to legally marry her.  There will be no 13A marriage visa to gain permanent residence and it will be a LOT more difficult – if not impossible – to get her to your home country.  In short, you will basically be forced to live in the Philippines. . If you opposed to living long term in the Philippines,  you will not want to consider the older separated woman.

SIDE NOTE ON ANULMENT: Suppose you and your married Filipina are together a number of years and decide you want to get married. Is there anything you can do? Well, yes, but it is difficult, expensive and iffy. In short, you can try to get the Filipina’s marriage annulled.   Success doesn’t depend on whether an annulment is actually justified. It depends MUCH more on the people trying to help you, the officials and clergy involved, and most of all, how much money you are willing to fork out. It’s easy to be ripped off when trying to get an annulment. Lawyers will promise you everything, and then keep on demanding money to continue the process. If you are lucky, eventually you will and maybe you will see it as money well spent. If you are not so lucky, you will have simply thrown your money away. You really need somebody you can trust during this process. We will revisit this topic in a later article.

 

 

Very Conservative Older Virgin (VCOV)
Before we begin this final category, let’s take a moment to  discuss Filipina attitudes towards sex, which fall into roughly three categories:

The first category consists of sexually liberated Filipinas.  These women were born and/or live in the city. In many cases, they have gone or are going to college. They have grown up with western views towards a number of things, sex being only one. They see nothing wrong with engaging in the act and possess a sincere desire to enjoy sex with a man they care about. These woman usually lose their virginity between the ages of 16 and 20.

The second category is the conservative type who absolutely – and without exception – insist on getting married before sex. These ladies are typically from the province, are usually very religious, and they believe it is a sin to have sex before marriage.

The third and final category is similar to the second:  They initially believe they are going to wait to be married before having sex. As time goes by, however, they slowly find their attitudes relaxing.  Finally, at some point they loosen up and surrender themselves to the act. This type of Filipina loses her virginity between the ages of 20 to 35.

Now let’s take a look back to the second category. Girls in this category have a “window of opportunity” to find out what they want. If they are attractive and have a good personality and are young (let’s say 17 to 22), there is a good chance that some guy is willing to date them without having sex, and might even be willing to marry them. However, if they pass this age, they start to find things turning against them. Filipino men are no different than western men in this regard. As they get older, they have less and less patience for women insisting on staying virgins. So, as this final category of Filipinas get older, they find men start to lose interest in them, and they become VCOVs. Most VCOVS start out thinking that they are going to marry a Filipino man, but at some point become disillusioned and mistakenly think that perhaps they can find a foreigner to marry them. At age 30 (or maybe even 40 or more), they get on the internet and start looking.  By this time – with their biological clocks ticking maniacally away – they will desperately be wanting to have a child before it is too late…

I’m not sure what to say about VCOVs. I suppose maybe they could be a good match for the right man, but certainly I am not that type of man, and I doubt most expats or potential expats would find them a good match either. Who wants to wait until marriage to have sex? I mean, what if they don’t even LIKE having sex?  Toss in that they are more likely to be overly conservative, overly religious, and just plain un-fun loving, and I don’t think this is a fun approach to relationships here. I don’t recommend VCOVs unless you yourself are also very conservative.

 

Phew!  OK, so that wraps up our four-part look into the different types of Filipinas you might encounter in the Philippines whilst looking for love.  In the next installment, we will be getting even further into the weeds.