Living and Loving 3: What You/We Are Looking for as Foreigners in the Philippines

Confused and want to go back to the beginning of this series?  Just click HERE to go to Part One.

Before we go on, let’s take a look at prospective expats and their expectations when it comes to relationships and living or not living in the Philippines.

Basically, there are three types of foreigners when it comes to residing in the Philippines with a Filipina girlfriend or spouse: Those who are open to living in the Philippines, those who do not want to live in the Philippines and those who are undecided or on the fence.

So let’s get down to details. Let’s describe a few categories of men that may be reading this article right now. These categories are based on my personal experiences, from actual people I have met, and their goals. Later   , after describing the basic categories, subsequent sections of this series will detail how you can reach your goals. When describing the categories, I will use the following abbreviations, which I basically made up.

YEX: Means YES to EXpatriatism – Somebody who is willing to leave their own country and make a new life for themselves in the Philippines. They are ready, and they are not afraid.

NEX: Means NO to EXpatriatism – Somebody who definitely does NOT want to leave his own country. A NEX is typically only looking for a Filipina wife to bring home to his own country.

MEX: Means MAYBE to EXpatriatism – This final category includes those who are not quite sure what they want. They are open to the idea of a new life in the Philippines, but they are afraid to jump right into it. They want to proceed slowly and keep their options open.

Now let’s break down the categories and dig a little deeper into NEX’s, MEX’s, YEX’s, swingers, drinkers and bad people…


The Typical NEX (No to Expatriatism)

You are in your late 40’s, 50s or early 60s, sometimes even older. You are most likely divorced or widowed. You still have a job. Your kids are basically grown. You don’t have the money or inclination to retire yet. You want to stay at your job. You want to live in the United States (or other home nation), but you are lonely. You have found it difficult to find a fulfilling long term relationship in your home country. You are not attracted to 50 year old women and younger women are simply not interested in you. Basically, your goal is to find a wife and you may have heard that you can find one in the Philippines. Is this indeed possible, you ask? Most definitely, and your challenge is not so much to find “a” woman willing to marry you and come to the United States as it is to find the “right” woman.

The Typical MEX (Maybe to Expatriatism)
You are in your late 40’s, 50s or early 60s, sometimes even older. You are probably divorced or widowed. You probably still have a job but you are seriously thinking of retiring. The idea of living in the Philippines intrigues you. The much lower cost of living will make retiring more feasible. You want to find love again. You are open to the idea of living in the Philippines but you have a number of reservations. What’s it really like? Will you be happy living there? Will you actually be able to find a woman there? You want to test the waters. You want to see what it’s like. You want to make the transition slowly, if at all.

The Typical YEX (Yes to  Expatriatism)
You are in your late 40’s, 50s or early 60s, sometimes even older. You are divorced or widowed. You may or may not still have a job but you are ready to retire. You like the idea of a younger woman but they are not interested in you. You are disillusioned with western women and their attitudes. You are weary with the work place and your job, and quite frankly you are disillusioned with the general attitudes and life style in your own country. You are ready and eager for a change and an adventure. You are not afraid. Let’s get this done!!


The Swinger

You are in your late 40’s, 50s or early 60s. You have had more than a few women in your life. You are charming and still have a strong sex drive. You feel the ravages of old age closing in on you and you want to enjoy yourself and experience a full sex life before it’s too late. You have a craving for a young sexy woman that you can’t have in your own country. You have no desire to be married or be involved in a serious relationship. Neither, however, are you interested in prostitutes. Part of the fun for you is in the chase and the challenge. Also, you want a woman that enjoys sex, not a woman that has sex for money, even if she is young and sexy. Fortunately, (or unfortunately – depending on your point of view), this type of person can get what they want in the Philippines. If you are charming, reasonably good looking, have some money to spend, and are willing to lie, you can have a very successful sex life. By lying, I mean two things

  • Claiming you are are single even if you are not.
  • Pretending to be looking for a wife or at least a serious relationship, even if you are not.

The Drinker
The drinker is primarily interested in two things: Drinking and having sex with prostitutes. If that is your dream, I have good news for you: You can definitely find what you want in the Philippines. There are many cities that can cater to your needs, and it will be far cheaper to drink and obtain prostitutes in the Philippines than in your home country.

The Bad Person – A Word of Warning
Here I want to describe a type of person who should not come to the Philippines. They include:

  • Alcoholics who can’t control themselves when they are intoxicated.
  • Active drug addicts.
  • Mean or violent people who like to get into fights.
  • People who like to control women or even beat them.
  • People that think the Philippines is a place where you can find a woman to be your slave.
  • People possessed of short and violent tempers.

If any of the above traits even remotely describe you, I urge you to stay away from the Philippines.

Filipinos, for the most part, are very open and friendly to foreigners. By and large they are a tolerant and kind people. But they do expect foreigners to behave appropriately. If you are reasonably kind and friendly and have a sense of humor, you will have no problems. Most Filipinos will accept you with open arms.  Keep in mind, though, that Filipinos are not tolerant to foreigners that cause problems. If you are loud and obnoxious and tend to argue and offend, you will have problems. In mild cases you will simply be ostracized. In extreme cases you may get deported, beat up or even killed. In particular, if you are a violent type that likes to beat up on women, you will be heading for big trouble, as Filipino society is very protective of their women.  Filipino prisons are also not a laughing matter, and if you’ve seen any episode of “Locked Up Abroad,” you’ll not what I am referring to.


In Conclusion
Did you find yourself fitting into one of the categories noted above?  Most likely you did.  IN most cases, people seem to sometimes fit into a combination of some of the categories that were described. Regardless of what ‘pigeon hole’ you fit into, all these categories (except the “bad person”) can all have a great time in the Philippines!

Now that we have looked at who “we/you” are, we’ll next take a look at the types of Filipinas that you might encounter in the Philippines.  We’ll take a gander at bar girls, single moms, working professionals, young princesses and all the rest.

When you are ready for that, click HERE to be taken to Part Four.

Stay thirsty, my friends!


Corey X



  1. Great post! Although some have misunderstood Filipinas looking for foreigners for money, but the truth is there are more Filipinas actually looking for someone to marry and build a family and raise children together. If anyone here is interested in an online dating in the Philippines we are helping singles all over the world. Online dating in general sometimes unfairly gets a bad wrap, but most people don’t realize that over 40% of new relationships world-wide are started ONLINE! There are a lot of good paid sites, and a few great free ones if you know where to look. For those who are more interested in Asian singles, the best truly free site we’ve found is There are also some good paid sites like Match or eHarmony if you are willing to pay monthly fees.

    1. Nice spam attempt. But I do agree with you, Robot Spammer, that there are MANY MORE Filipinas looking for marriage and family than those simply chasing money.

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