A Typical Visit to a Girly Bar
Girly bars are found of over SE Asia. As we previously noted in our article on bar girls, they are a bit different than adult-themed strip joints that you may have experienced in the West. For those that are already well-experienced with girly bars in Asia, you can probably click off to another topic. If you’ve never had opportunity to visit one, however, this is typically how the experience plays out:
Hmmm… What to Do, What to Do?
You’ve been stumbling around in the Philippine heat, wandering about and wondering what you should do. Then, as if by magic, a gaudily painted concrete building unfolds before you. A bored looking guard sits off to the side and a few alluringly attired young Filipinas are hanging out around a little podium. As you notice the “Girls!” sign hanging from the podium, the girls smile and beckon you over.
“Hi siiiir,” is delivered with a blazing smile.” Would you like to come inside?”
You hesitate just the slightest before replying, “Sure.”
You pass through the blacked-out doors and enter a dimly lit open room. A stage is set up on one side of the chamber, with a few dancers in mini-skirts and halter tops slinkily dancing to the beats of the latest pop hit. A few customers are sitting about the room, some sipping bottles of beer and staring at the dancers, others chatting with pretty Filipinas sitting with them. As you enter, a young women emerges from the bar on the other side of the room and guides you to a seat. A little menu is set down and you note that the usual selection of beers (San Miguel and Red Horse) are a little more expensive at 75 pesos. Not to worry though- that’s not even two dollars, USD, so it’s not a deal breaker. Asking what you would like to drink, she takes your order and hurries off. Sighing, you realize you are truly in the Philippines as even the bartenders are some of the most beautiful woman you have ever seen. How come we can’t have tenders like that back in the West?
Glancing about and taking stock, you notice two beautiful, young Filipinas giving you the eye. You feel a little shy at first, but they smile and you smile back. And even though you know you are in a girly bar, it still feels good to get that level of attention from a beautiful woman.
One of the girls gets up and wanders up to your table, all swaying hips, narrow waist and rounded bosom. She smiles down at you as if you are the most important person in the world and she has been waiting for this moment her entire life.
“Hi. How are you?” She asks, sliding into the chair.
She rewards your status with a raised, perfectly manicured eyebrow. “Where are your from?”
“United States,” you reply. Then, feeling a little cheeky, you ask, “Where are you from?”
A pause – a brief look of confusions, then “Philippines, of course.” She finally replies laughing and raising her hand, palm towards you. It takes a few seconds for the gesture to register, but then you give her a high five – the first of many as the evening unfolds.
Her dark eyes twinkle. “What is your name?”
“Cory. And yours?”
And so it goes….
Girly Bar Q&A sessions are all always pretty much the same. Variations on name, nationality, age, marriage status, number of kids and the like. Your drink arrives and you are asked to initial the invoice – this is to prevent further misunderstanding as to how many drinks you have consumed (and lady drinks you have purchased) over the course of the evening. The lovely bartender hovers a bit and the girl (let’s call her Alysha) asks if she can have a lady drink. Having been duly educated on Philippines Luv as what lady drinks are and how the profits are shared, you nod and the girl orders herself a San Miguel Light. Seeing as slender as she is, you wonder at her reasons for cutting calories. Also being educated on our site, you now know that once you have purchased the lady drink, you can officially start touching the girl – not groping or anything crazy; just affectionate contact (and a whole slew of eventual high fives).
So It Goes
Time passes with you both chatting amicably. Caught up in the attention, her genuine niceness and excellent English skills, you forget for a moment that you are in a girly bar. And then, when you finally recall where you are, you wonder how this lovely and apparently innocent young Filipina came to be working in a place like this. At this point, you’ve got to get grounded and be aware of the situation – don’t start falling in love and forgetting where you are. And don’t feel bad – plenty of other first timers have experienced this same situation. Not to work though, if you get too lost, she will eventually nudge you back to reality by asking if you would like to spend some time together. At this point, you’ll probably start discussing the financials of the situation.
Dirty Deeds Done Moderately Dirt Cheap
Many bars have accommodations for liaisons right in the building. Other places will require you to go somewhere else and have your fun. Usually, they will have an understanding with a local ‘short time’ hotel and you’ll occasionally be able to get a lower rate. If you are in high-scale girly bar, you will be expected to pay 2-3,000 pesos up front to “spend time” with your bar girl. Of that, the establishment will usually pocket 1,000 pesos and the girl will keep the rest. Keep in mind that the money is given up front, so – unlike freelancers – she won’t have much incentive to over perform. Tips are helpful in a situation like this – let her know up front that you will give her so many pesos for good work or maybe even more for a superlative experience.
Just remember to smile, laugh and be polite and respectful. A little bit of that goes a long, long way.
Falling in Love with a Bar Girl
It’s happened before, it will happen again and it’s probably happening some where right now – yes, guys do fall in love with bar girls. It’s actually fairly common. Right now (July of 2027) I happen to personally know three guys who are now in long-term relationships with bar girls. One of them has been married to her for almost four years now and they have two kids. Those are the happy cases. Unfortunately, I also know of more than a few less than happy relationships, one of which turned into a literal nightmare.
Bar girls are bar girls because they are usually from a very poor family and need financial assistance. A good number of them also usually have a kid (or two or three) with a Pinoy who has since abandoned them (for some reason, the guy always ran off to ‘Manila’). Although I mentioned that some (if not most) wouldn’t mind getting swept off their little brown feet by a white knight foreigner, this need to take care of their family will always be of paramount important. But Cory, you say, I know of a lot of Asian women who are seeking financial help. Yes, that may be true, but it’s also a LOT more pronounced among bar girls.
Bar girls also tend to be operating from a position of power, especially the more beautiful ones. They are fully cognizant of just how hot and desirable they are and know they can easily get someone else if your monetary allowance is perceived as inadequate.
I am speaking generally here. Not ALL bar girls are like this. But it’s just something to keep in mind.
This is a topic that I will get into further at some point. It’s a complicated subject and requires more attention to detail.
With a decent dollop of common sense, sex with a Filipina bar girl is not as dangerous as hooking up with a freelancer in the street. Bar girls are known and ID’d through their establishments so there is less chance of theft. (With semi-pro’s and streetwalkers, you could be in for a world of hurt if you let her stay at your place overnight.) Also keep in mind that many bar girls are looking for repeat business and are less likely to rob you. In all cases, whether bar girl, streetwalker or semi-pro, always, always, always wear a condom. The Philippines has a very high HIV rate when compared to the rest of the world (sex and IV drug use) so make sure you are stocked up with your favorite condoms. Even if she says it’s OK and claims to be on the pill or fitted with an IUD, slap a raincoat on that bad boy.
Better safe than sorry.
One last little bit of advice: Take the effort to check a streetwalker or semi-pro’s ID to make sure she if of age. If they say they don’t have one, they are probably illegal. Many hotels in the Philippines will ask to see an ID if you walk in with a strange (or known) girl. Working girls all know this, so they usually carry ID’s. In short, if in doubt, don’t pull it out.